8 Rules to Live By?

Babette Hughes is a 101-year-old. Her eight lessons for a long and happy life are:

1. Don’t ever believe you’re ‘done’

Some cultural ideas are good, but many are wrong. People give up on their lives much too early. 

When your mind focuses on what the culture teaches us — that we’re done when we get past a certain age — it gets into our sense of self. If our sense of self is to be alone and sad and useless when we are 70, 80, 90, whatever, we believe it. And that’s dangerous. 

These years are the good ones. People have gifts that they may not know they have, and it may take a lifetime to find them. 

Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org

2.  Talk to friends of all ages

My friends are a wonderful source of wisdom, energy and authenticity. 

I have a few friends that are two and three generations younger. I’ve learned from them, and I think they’ve learned from me. Each decade teaches us something else. 

There’s a huge difference between being 30 or 40 and being 90 or 100. And yet, when we come together, it can be fabulous because we all have much to teach each other. It gives us another way to think about things.

When I get together with my friends, we mostly talk. Talk is exhilarating when it’s good.

3. Let little things make your day

It’s not the top of the mountain that makes us happy. It’s the small pleasures. 

We have to understand ourselves so that we can be authentic and find the little things that make us happy. For me, one is reading. Another is being with people I care deeply about — which can be family or friends. It’s a phone call, a visit, an idea, a worry shared. 

4.  Have the courage to be authentic

Courage is probably, for me, the bottom line. It takes courage to look at yourself clearly, to know yourself, and to be authentic. 

But it gives you energy, confidence, and an understanding of yourself and others. In the long run, I believe that being authentic — disagreeing with someone, for example — makes even difficult relationships stronger. 

It’s not the top of the mountain that makes us happy. It’s the small pleasures. Being authentic doesn’t come easily. It takes some work to learn about yourself. But it’s worth it.

5.  Do things you love

When I’m writing, I feel different. I feel better. I feel happier, I feel more centered. I feel more confident. Other writers I know tell me they feel the same thing. There’s really something magical about creative work. Of course, it’s not magic; it’s an expression of the human soul.

The pleasures you get from doing something creative that you love are tied to parts of the self that are not always available or conscious. 

6.  Move your body, rest your mind

For about seven years, I’ve worked out with a trainer twice a week. For a 101-year-old, I’m strong. I can lift 10-pound weights and get up off a chair holding the weights. I’m so proud of that.

When I had pneumonia and I was in the hospital, someone there told me that my exercising probably saved my life. So it isn’t just a good idea — it’s essential. At the same time, you have to get a lot of rest. The brain needs rest in order to rejuvenate.

7.  Don’t get stuck in negativity

Negative thinking is common, and it’s a killer.

Why do some people feel optimistic and some, no matter what they say, it comes out negative? It’s how we’re born, I believe. We come into the world optimists or pessimists. Some people have such difficult times in their lives. If a pessimist would say, “Why me?” I would say, “Why not?”

8.  Do what you know you need to do

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve often been asked, “What’s your secret?” I don’t have a secret.

Longevity is what everyone knows to be true. We all know: Exercise, good diet, a healthy personal relationship with a partner, an understanding of yourself, a career that’s good for you — these are the keys to a happy life. 

Personally, it’s having a purpose for every stage of your life – sometimes being a mentor, sometimes a coach, sometimes an advisor and sometimes being the doer. In all, remember you and I work for the glory of our Creator God.

Reference:

101-year-old says she’s living the best years of her life: 8 rules I live by – don’t believe you’re ever ‘done’, Babette Hughes as told to Stav Ziv, CNBC, 24 August 2024