There was a
land far, far away that had ministers appointed for haircuts, warm water
consumption, Doraemon inspired female etiquette, TikTok championships, street
cleaning and food bazaars. This was to ease the pain of a major pandemic that
impacted the whole planet.
Their main
role was to keep the people amused whilst the pandemic raged on. There was
scientific evidence to support that, happy people do have a high degree of
immunity.
Many wanted to
outperform the other. So, they set out to suggest unusual steps that brought
great amusement to many. Clowns online were not necessary as these ministers
had a license to say and do things which brought relief to those on
ventilators. Many frontline staff were encouraged by these innovative and happy
ideas. In fact, some of the ideas were even considered by the other countries
in more remote places. Talk show hosts, were inspired by the antics of these
ministers. The country was truly known in this far away planet for bringing
untold happiness to many!
The Minister
for Haircuts genuinely thought that it provided a welcome relief to men who
have been confined to their homes. His personal assistant even suggested that
haircuts will bring down blood pressure. This was without doing any medical
studies for this rare phenomenon. Hospitals were aghast, lest they lose
patients. Unfortunately, barber shops had to secure permits from another
ministry, whose online systems collapsed with the sheer volume of applications.
Why would barber shops with licenses need a further permit to open? That my
friend is the million energy credits (inter galactic currency) question.
The Minister
of Warm Water Consumption, not to be undone, suggested on television
that regular drinking of warm water will cure anyone of this virus. And he was
a qualified medical doctor who did not quite understand that the respiratory
system is different from the normal digestive system. When there was an outcry
on this “hocus-pocus” he made himself scarce.
The Minister
of Female Etiquette Affairs, specialising in Doraemon, was from another era,
some 40 years ago. She suggested that abused wives need to behave like Doraemon
and dress seductively when carrying out household chores. That would change the
behaviour pattern of their abusive husbands to that of Italian lovers. No major
study to date, has been done on this. Perhaps universities shall introduce new
courses on “Doraemon Behaviour”?
Source: Online
Again, not to
be undone by the rest, The Minister of TikToks was keen to organise a contest
for mature university students, on the latest viral dance moves. That will take
people’s minds off the virus and reduce boredom at home. Many did not agree and
so the idea was shelved for another time.
Then, there
was a Minister for Street Cleaning who explained the benefits of a clean street
wearing a Hazmat suit. Perhaps, the Minister of Open Bazaars will be grateful
for the thoughtful action of this forward thinking “Clean” Minister. Meanwhile,
his idea of “mobile” bazaars was deemed exciting, but many were not amused.
What more do
you want? There are over 70 ministers in the Cabinet, and all want some form of
recognition. It is only fair that they come up with more innovative ideas and
submit for a national contest to pick the winner. That way, the people of
the land would divert from the daily briefings on the progress of the virus
and revisit “Happy Days” and Fonzie for sheer entertainment.
(The above
article is entirely fabricated. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental
and not intended to be or construed to be as facts. As the purpose is to
entertain or amuse, no malice is intended on anyone or anything.)
No comments:
Post a Comment